What I’ve learned about relationships is that they are intimidating and frightening. So many things can go wrong. When you initiate the development of a relationship, you eventually make yourself vulnerable for disasters. You start to open up, let them in your life, and leave yourself giving them the chance to use your feelings and emotions against you. You become so dependent on that one person you hang on them emotionally and physically. You become attached to the affections you have for them, you begin to slowly drift away from your other friends and rely on that one person for your source of happiness. But then again so many great things can happen. You finally have one person who looks past your flaws and bad habits and realizes that you’re just human. You can open up to someone who is willing to listen and has the ability to understand what you’re going through. You develop feelings that no one else has given you. You can be emotionally and physically attracted to someone who makes you happy. You alas have someone you can count on and trust, someone who can be your best friend at the same time.
But there’s always that thought in your head that you worry about: the outcome of the relationship if it were to fail..
I want a love like him picking fights just so he can see the little wrinkle over my nose then suddenly pulls me toward him just so he can kiss my nose type love. I want a love like him picking me up on a date and he don’t stay in the car, but gets out just to say hi to my parents type love. I want a love where we get into little fights, then he lifts my chin gently and softly, whispering “I’m sorry” type love. I want a love where he open doors for me and pulls his coat out on the pot hole just so I won’t get wet type love. I want a love where it’s not just about the material things, but rather have him leave a sweet post-it note saying “I miss you” type love. I want a love like we’re Bonnie and Clyde. Ride together, stay together type love. I want a love like him teaching me how to surrender my love type love.
I want a love like us driving past a church while we both do the sign of the cross and after, he grabs my hand and smiles at me type love. I want a love like I smile back because of his devotion to his faith and respect for my faith type love. I want a love like not us going out to eat, but we cook together at home even though he burns the pot roast type love. I want a love like him reminding me how much he’d rather spend the rest of his life like this than with anyone else before I eat that burnt pot roast type love. I want a love like him pinky promising his world to me type love. He would even pinky promise me with a stamp just so I can feel more secure type love.
I want a love like him saying how beautiful I am when I’m all natural type love, then hearing him say how much he likes me in sweats than a mini skirt type love. I want a love like him not knowing what to say because he’s so speechless when I walk down the stairs with my nappy hair and a big t-shirt on type love. I want a love where we can sing Janet Jackson’s greatest hits in the car and not be ashamed when people from other cars look type love. I want a love like him thinking of me while I’m thinking of him type love. I want a love like him texting me throughout the day just to see how I’m doing type love. I want a love like him watching a Lifetime movie with me and actually likes it type love. I want a love where it’s me and him, not the rest of the world type love, cause he’d say how much the rest of the world doesn’t matter when I’m with him type love. I want a love that is as unexplainable as he is, and when I find him, he’s the one I’ll be spending my time with.
A relationship is just like reading a book with a kid. If we are ahead then they'll try catching up even if they don't understand anything. If we tell them what everything is about, then they dont learn. If they aren't interested, they'll put it down and grab another. If it's interesting, they want more of it.